Goodnight Mom!

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Penny Mosby was only 5 years old when it happened.

“Dad, why should I go to the hospital again today? I have visited this place three times in 24 hours!” said Penny innocently when her dad, Ted, lead her through the hospital corridors that night.

“You haven’t said ‘goodnight’ to Mom, honey,” he answered.

With a big white teddy bear –a birthday gift from her mom- in her left arm, little Penny asked, “I’ve said millions of ‘goodnight’ to Mom this past weeks. I’ve kissed Mom’s forehead for several times this past weeks. Why doesn’t Mom come to my room and do all that stuff just like every day she used to?”

Ted stopped and kneeled next to her. “Penny, Mom has done that to you since you were born. Now it is your turn to love Mom just like how she loves you,” he answered.

Her dad’s answer convinced her to walk through the corridor. The fact is, Penny hates hospital corridors since they remind her of that scary day when her mom screamed furiously when giving birth to Luke, her brother.

Ted gave a knock to room 203. They heard a weak voice welcoming them as they got in the room.

“Hi, angels,” Tracy said.

“Hi, love,” said Ted. He gave Tracy a quick kiss on her forehead. “Penny is here.”

“Hi, Mom!” Penny shouted with excitement.

“Hi, darling!”

Penny climbed to the side of her mom’s bed and she sat there. With the last bits of energy she had, Tracy moved her left hand and caressed her little girl’s brunette hair.

“Do you have any story to tell me, Penny?” she asked.

“Of course, Mom!” Penny adjusted her sitting position so that she could face her mom. “Today I baked cookies with Aunt Lily. She came to our house, Mom! I’ve waited that moment for weeks since I want to know how to bake cookies. Would you teach me how to bake other things when you aren’t sick anymore, Mom?”

“Yes, of course, honey! We will bake rainbow cakes together, okay? We can make 4 pieces: one for you, one for me, one for daddy, and one for Luke. Deal?”

“Deal!”

Penny high fived her Mom’s weak hands just like how they used to.

Suddenly, the machine which was connected to Tracy beeped.

“What is that, Mom?” asked Penny cautiously.

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry, honey,” answered her. Trying to distract her daughter’s attention, she said, “Other than that, what happened today, Penny? How was your school?”

“School is amazing, Mom! I had literature class today and Miss Robin read us the story of Little Red Riding Hood. I like that story. I don’t know why but I felt I had known the story before Miss Robin read that to us.”

“I have read that story to you once, honey. Don’t you remember?”

Little Penny frowned for a while. She tried to remember that memory seriously till wrinkles showed up on her forehead. Seeing the weird-cute face of their daughter, Ted and Tracy laughed.

Suddenly, Penny shouted, “Oh, yeah, I remember now!”

“Good. Can you name the stories both Mom and Dad have read to you?” asked Ted.

Penny named the stories both Ted and Tracy have read to her. She also mentioned the authors of the stories.

“Mom, would you like to play your ukulele for me? I’ve never heard you play ‘La Vie En Rose’ for weeks,” asked Penny suddenly. Tracy had always played that song when she tucked Penny and Luke to bed. That time, due to her sickness, she had never done that anymore.

“Honey, I’d love to. But I’ve lost all of my energy. Wish me the best, okay, honey? Once I recovered, I’ll play my ukulele for you as long as you want.”

Penny gladly nodded.

The machine beeped once more. That time it beeped longer than before.

“Penny, do you allow Mom to sleep like Sleeping Beauty? Mom is so tired, honey,” asked Tracy.

“Of course, Mom! You can sleep with thousands of flowers around you. When you’re not tired anymore, I’ll wake you up and we can play together again!” said Penny innocently. She didn’t know what her mom really mean.

“Thank you, honey.”

The machine beeped again.

“Penny, it is time to go home now. Uncle Marshall is waiting for you outside. Say goodbye to mom!” said Ted when the clock showed 10 pm.

Penny heavily sighed. She didn’t want to come home without Mom but she had to.

“Goodnight, Mom! See you tomorrow,” said Penny. She leaned to kiss her mom’s forehead and cheeks.

“Goodnight, honey. I’ll wait for you tomorrow.”

Penny climbed down the bed and walked to the door. She looked back to her Mom and waved her hand. Tracy blew a kiss to her and then Penny went outside the door. She raced to the parking lot where Uncle Marshall had been waiting for her to take her back home.

Ted stayed at the hospital. He was always accompanying Tracy however the condition was. They both watched Penny as she ran outside with her little legs.

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she?” said Tracy, asking Ted’s agreement.

“She is. She is just like you,” Ted said.

Tracy gave him a weak smile and Ted kissed her hand.

“Go to sleep, honey. I’ll be here when you wake up tomorrow. I love you,” said Ted.

Tracy whispered, “I love you, the love of my life. I love our little angels too.”

She shut her eyelids. Her hands were clutched with Ted’s who slept in a plastic chair next to her.

“See you tomorrow,” said Ted.

“See you.”

Tracy fell into a deep sleep, a peaceful one. Right at 12 pm, the machine beeped so long so it woke Ted and a few nurses up.

The next morning, Penny went to the hospital with Uncle Marshall, Aunt Lily, and Luke to meet her mom.

“Why should I go to the hospital before school, Uncle Marshall? I supposed to meet Mom this afternoon. I could be late to school!” said Penny.

“You have to say goodbye to your Mom before you go to school, Penny,” said Uncle Marshall.

“Okay, Uncle Marshall.”

When she arrived at the hospital, she could only found her dad, sitting outside the room 203. His hands were covering his eyes, hiding the stream of tears from his eyes. Both Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily gave Ted a look that expressed their condolence from their deepest heart. All of the adults in that room tried to hide their tears to prevent Penny and Luke acknowledging their Mom’s passing.

“Dad, where’s Mom?” asked Penny.

Ted looked up to see his little daughter waiting for his answer. His face was still moist and traces of tears still exist. Penny’s face was so innocent and somehow it reminded Ted of Tracy. Penny hadn’t known what happened to her Mom and Ted hadn’t had the guts to tell her what did really happen.

Instead of saying the truth, Ted said, “She’s still sleeping, honey. It’s not the time to wake her up. I think you can wake her up tomorrow when she’s not tired anymore.”

Penny nodded in agreement. She still wore a smile on her face. Today is not the day I should wake Mom up, she thought. Tomorrow, the word his dad had said was still echoing on her head.

Penny had always had that vision of waking her mom up one day and she had waited that day to come. Ironically, it took a few years for Penny to notice and accept that her Mom’s eyelids would never open again and the tomorrow her dad had promised would never come.


A fan fiction of How I Met Your Mother.

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Couch Talk

Couch Cuddle 2

“I can’t believe it!”

“What?” she said, wincing her eyes towards me.

“That you cried while watching How I Met Your Mother’s ‘Last Words’,”

“What? No, no, no!” her voice was a few octaves higher. “I’m not crying!”

I brushed my hands on her cheek, wiping her tears. Her cheek felt a little moister than usual. I bet she cried the whole episode.

“Then why are your cheek so moist?” I asked.

“Sweat, Honey. This place is so hot!”

I brushed her smooth wavy red hair. “You’re covered by two layers of winter blankets and you were asking me to hug you tight till you feel warm earlier. I’m sure it’s so hot down there,”

“Fine, I cried,” she said gingerly. “What’s the matter anyway?”

“Nothing,” I said.

Aislinn pulled herself back a few inches from my arms. I suddenly felt cold physically but her unbelievably wide eyes which were staring at me warmed me.

“Really, Pete?” she spoke in disbelief. “I know you’re lying, you’re biting your lips,”

“Well, it’s nothing important,” I said and stretched my back. “It’s just.. I love the way you cry,”

“What?” she shrieked for the third time this night. She sounded like she was offended but her eyes was just full of disbelief. “So, do you want me to cry all day long?”

“It’s not like that, Honey! Not like other people, you looked beautiful when you cry,”

“What?” The fourth time.

“Look, I love it that you cry. I’m not the man who think that crying is a ‘coward alert’. The fact is, crying shows you that you have a heart. But what makes me stunned is that you’re crying while watching HIMYM’s ‘Last Words’, an episode of a sitcom with a sad plot, that’s all,” I said. “Tell me, what makes you cry?”

She shook her head and smile. “Of course Marshall’s pop’s funeral, idiot! What, you don’t feel sad?”

“Well, of course I do, but it doesn’t moved me that much. I mean, Marvin Eriksen is just a minor character,”

“Oh. Well, for me, it moved me that much. I feel sad for Marshall,” she explained. “Losing your dad, losing your ultimate best friend in the world really sucks. Remember when I didn’t get out of bed for days after my godmother died? I felt incomplete by losing a friend. Moreover, Marvin is not just a friend to Marshall. He’s Marshall’s best friend, Marshall’s pop,”

“Well, yeah. It’s so sad that Martha’s gone. She’s one of your best friend,”

She nodded. There’s a moment of silence between us.

“But still, Marvin is just a minor fictional character and you cried!”

“Peter!” she shouted. She turned her face away so that I couldn’t look her in the eye.

I grabbed her chin and turned her face gently so she faced me. I looked at her and she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I love her wide eyes, her pointed nose, her thin lips, her red hair, her pink cheeks when she blushed. I love her anywhere anytime. She’s the love of my life.

Even when she is supposed to be in her ugliest look like right now, when she’s mad.

“Hey,” I said.

“Men are jerks, you know that, Pete? Their hearts are made of iron and steel, so hard to be moved. I can’t believe it that there are a human being like that,”

“Well, you’re marrying one of them,”

“Ha, unlucky me,” she rolled her eyes and gave me a fade smile.

“Look, I’m sorry that I teased you. But I love you,”

“Ha,” she said sarcastically.

“I mean it. You’re the only woman with the biggest heart I have ever known. You feel goddamn sad for a fictional character. I love how you’re easily touched,” I said. “Having a big fat heart is what every woman lacking right now. Women nowadays tend to be heartless, merciless, and selfish. And here you are, the only woman who still have a big fat heart and cares for everything, even a fictional character,”

She smiled and her smile light up my whole universe. “Thanks God I still have a big fat heart,” she said.

“Thanks God you still have a big fat heart. You’re the woman every man should have married, you know Aislinn? Beautiful, intelligent, too kind-“

“But I only want to be married to you,” she said.

“Thanks heavens!” I faked a sigh of relief to make her laugh though deep down in my heart I felt relieved.

“But don’t tease me like that again. It makes you look like a jerk,” she laughed and I felt warm though she’s still a little bit mad at me.

“I won’t promise,” I said humorously.

She made a horrible face to me and then continued laughing.

“Hey, you said that I’m beautiful when I cry. Am I more beautiful than when I was in my wedding dress?”

“What can I say?”

She grabbed a pillow next to her and hit me on my chest. “A woman is on her most beautiful look when she’s in her wedding dress. Other than that, she’s always uglier! Moreover when she cries! You’re teasing me again, aren’t you? I can’t believe you, Peter, after-“

I shut her lips by giving a quick kiss, “Seriously, will you shut up? I mean it, what if you always look beautiful?”

“Damn it!” Aislinn smiled and leaned closer to me. She grabbed the remote and continue our How I Met Your Mother marathon.

I’m A Teenager: What Am I Going To Do?!

I have just received the result of my psychological test earlier which actually should help me determine my future. There, I found out that I have interest  in things which concludes laterary, aesthetic, social service, personal contact, and etc. By reading those 4 points, I didn’t feel being helped. I felt like I’m in a crossroad and ahead me there are lots of roads and I’m obligated to choose ONLY one road RIGHT AWAY. Then, a question crossed in my mind:

I’m a teenager; what am I going to do in my life? Who am I going to be?

And, yes, I suppose that is a question most of teenagers ask to themselves when they are moving toward maturity. Actually, I don’t really like the word ‘maturity’ since it sounds a little bit annoying and stiff, but I guess there is no other better English word to replace that word?

So, back to the topic, as a teenager, I humbly say that being a teenager is fun yet a crap. If you’re a teenager who don’t take your life seriously, fine, it’s easy to do your life. But if you’re a teenager who take your life seriously -or way to serious!-, the question above will haunt your whole teenage days.

The days of being a teenager are the best days of everyone’s life. We start to do fun things on our own without parental guidance.. that’s amazing! Yet the days of being a teenager are the days when ourselves are in our most vulnerable conditions. We start to figure things and have fun, but then we start to doubt things. We start to doubt who we are and other craps like that. We’re in the phase where we are trying to discover our true identity. And when we should discover things like that, society (or maybe system) force us to plan our WHOLE LIFE right away, regardless the fact that we’re still unconcern about our identity, by asking us to choose majors in university. That’s undeniably depressing! Here’s my impression of teenagers who take their lives seriously and get depressed eventually:

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Here, I gotta say, that right now, I agree with what Ted Mosby of How I Met Your Mother said:

How I Met Your Mother S04E19 "Murtaugh" QuotesThere I show you. But then, in How I Met Your Mother S04E19 titled “Murtaugh” (yes, I’m a fan of HIMYM), Robin Scherbatsky said:

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What can I say? I also agree with her. In an other way, being a teenager is fun, you also know that, right? I don’t mean to be miss-know-it-all, but I think all we teenagers have to do in our teenage days is just to do it. I know that advice REALLY SUCKS (I even consider that as the worst advice I have ever said), but what else can I say? We can’t just skip our life. I guess  all we have to do is do our best in this life and choose things wisely. And pray to God, of course. Determining what are we going to be in this life is sure a hard challenge.. but I guess we can try, right?

Well, actually, I even haven’t discovered many things in my life -I even haven’t discover my true identity! So, if you have any idea about this hauntingly beautiful crap, I would be very pleased if you share your advice on the comment below. Actually, that’s my purpose on writing this article, I NEED ADVICE!

Well, I guess that’s enough for today. Speak your ideas!

Arrivederci! Till we meet again.
Me 🙂