Separate Ways


“Hey! Long time no see!” he shouted. From afar, I saw him waving and quick-walking toward me.

“Hey! Oh my God, how long have it been?” I said, still surprised. He seemed different. His hair had grown longer, his smile was broader than the last time I saw him. However, he was still the same person as the one I met three years ago. The same quirky funny tall guy.

“Umm.. was it… wait… umm… oh God, I can’t remember! It must’ve been such a long time ago, wasn’t it?” He sounded a little apologetic, probably for not remembering that tiny detail. However, I wasn’t even mad; I did forget too.

“Yeah, it was.” I know, I’m terrible at small talks.

Both of us still stood in the middle of the crowd, watching the star of the show as it entertained those party-goers.

Suddenly, with a cup of whatever he had in his hand, he turned toward me and said, “Anyway, from now on, it will be longer, isn’t it?”


“Us. All of us. We won’t meet in a very long time, are we? We’ll be going on our separate ways.”

And that’s all it takes to break my inner layer of walls down. He’s right. That day might be the last day I saw him for a very long time. That day might be the last day I saw anyone, forever. Who knows.

“I’m going to quote Charles Dickens: is it better to have had a good thing and lost it, or never to have had it?” Kinda rhetorical, I just wanted to know how he react to it.

“Sometimes it is better to be lonely since the beginning than to be lonely twice. But… I don’t know. Hadn’t I have the chance to be a part of this, whatever this is-life maybe?-, I wouldn’t have met her, the love of my life, my wive,” he pointed her, the gorgeous and perky soon-to-be-ex roommate of mine. “So, maybe this is not too bad?”

I shrugged, “I think it is better to be lonely since the beginning. Being left alone sucks, you know? I love leaving waaay better than being left.”

“Hey, I know you’re upset to have her moving out to move in with me and I know you hate this kind of goodbye-apartment shindig, but let me tell you this: people will always come and go, you can’t have control on it. However, people with great distance between them can still keep in touch as long as they care for each other. The deal is not to go on an extra mile in keeping touch with everybody; the deal is to get some people who will also reach to you,” he said, lecturing me in the middle of this crowd, “And… we will always reach to you, you know that. The awful feeling of being left sometimes worth the experience.”

His answer still couldn’t comfort me as I know that people will also change as time goes by. Soon they will forget me and I will forget them too. Human relationship is nothing more than about having people to talk to for a while and then loosing them for the rest of our lives.

But maybe he had a point. Maybe all of this is worth the experience.

“Thank you, Tyler. Love Tanya for me, will you?”

“Sure, Aislinn, I will. See you later?”

“See you later, someday.”

2016: Lessons I’ve Learnt

The year 2017 is right in front of our eyes. Other people may be in their way arranging their best new year’s resolution, but I’ve stopped doing that since last year. It is not that I don’t believe that resolutions exists; I have come to an understanding which makes me realize that my resolutions are quite the same from one year to another. I realize that I don’t need new resolutions every year, because all I have to do is just to constantly aim new targets every once in a while. Therefore, instead of sharing my newest targets, I’d like to share things that I’ve learnt in this year.

1. NEVER, EVER, EVER, say “Yes” to something you’re not interested in.

I’ve gone through a not-so-delightful experience this year just because I say “Yes” to something I’m not interested in. You see, taking chances and risks are good ways to improve ourselves, to push ourselves beyond our limit. However, when you accept something just because you pity it (not 100% due to your fondness of the thing), you tend to lose focus and loyalty to that thing. After you start feeling bored of that thing, you’ll start feeling under pressure. You’ll feel like you’re forced to do those things. That kind of feeling will lead you to stress and even physical pain. And all of that is just because you don’t have the heart to say “No” at the first place. Trust me, it’s better to bear the guilt of rejecting someone or something than having to endure mental and physical pain over a period of time.


2. ALWAYS say “Yes” to the things that give you more experience.

Giving a shot to something new and challenging will always lead us to a good thing. There are two possibilities of what that good thing will be: 1) a real beneficial good thing or 2) a bittersweet life lesson.

In 2016, I’ve said “yes” to two economics essay writing competition, a quite random high school quiz held by the government, a high school wall magazine competition, and an essay writing and debate competition about food technology. I may not rank the first on those competition, but from those competition I became to know my abilities. I became to know which topic I excel better than the others. The most important thing from all of that is that I became to know that anyone can be anything they want just by hard work and prayers.

3. Everyone has their own field.

Nobody is meant to be perfect. Nobody is sentenced to master all things. So, it’s okay if someone is better than you in something. What’s not okay is if you don’t try exploring your hobbies, talents, or interests.

4. It’s not about who is the sharpest; it is about who is the one with more effort.

A lazy genius will slowly having his or her mind blunt if he or she barely exercises. However, a diligent average person will start having keen mind if he or she constantly exercises to reach his or her goal.

Last but not least, here are two videos of Casey Neistat I really like for the wisdom in it. Casey Neistat is a New York-based filmmaker who has been vlogging for these past years. I started subscribing his channel this year and I have been inspired by his videos all these months. His way of life and his principles about success show me different perspectives in life. Watch these videos and I hope they do to you too. Arrivederci!


A Paragraph, If I May Say..

CA 2

..and talking about him beyond his knowledge just makes me more like a sinner and a desperate lover. At first I thought my word vomit will bring ease to my heart, and now.. well, I hope it does.

Enam Belas


Enam belas,
Jadilah tahun yang baik.
Tahun penuh cinta dan bahagia.
Tahun ketika harapan tak sekedar angan belaka.
Jadilah tahun yang mendewasakan dan hilangnya keraguan.

Kepada para terkasih,
Terima kasih untuk kembali mengingat
Apa yang dalam hidup ini hanya sekedar terlibat.

Dengan haru berbalut rindu, 29 Januari 2015
Aku yang senantiasa berusaha membahagiakanmu.

Welcomed | Happy Eid Mubarak!

Happy Eid Mubarak, my fellow Moslem from all over the world!
Taqaballahu minna waminkum, shiyamana wa shiyamakum.
May all of us live in peace and happiness for the rest of our lives, aamiin yaa rabbal alamin.

As we all know, on July 28, all Moslem celebrated Aidilfitri, the holy day. Why does that day is called as ‘the holy day’? This year’s July 28 happened to be as the exact day of Syawal 1. Syawal is the month after Ramadhan on the Islamic calendar. On 30 days of Ramadhan, we are fasting to ‘fight against lust in general’. And then when Ramadhan ends and Syawal comes, we celebrate our winning against lust by having an Aidilfitri prayer (sholat) on the 1st day of Syawal.

I’m not going to utter about Aidilfitri in this post. Today I’d like to share a story about my warm-hearted high school seniors.

As an Indonesian, we have the tradition to say “Happy Eid Mubarak, taqaballahu minna waminkum,” kind of stuffs to our family and fellow friends. People also sometimes write a beautiful full-of-rhyme poem just to say ‘Happy Eid Mubarak’. Instead of only saying those words mouth-to-mouth, we sometimes broadcast the message to every people in our phone contact book (though honestly I rarely do that because I always get awkward while writing those formal texts).

This year, this exact month, is my first year and my first month as a high school student. I’ve known some people and I’ve known some of my seniors. To be honest, the school I attend, SMA N 1 Teladan Yogyakarta (1 State Senior High School), has a really unique culture compared to other high school. It is kinda religious and the bond between seniors and juniors feels so tight. Though I’ve known some of the students and the activities there, I still haven’t attend a single class in high school. So that means that I haven’t feel like a real high school student.

Today, I recieved two Aidilfitri messages from my seniors. Those messages are from Mbak Amel and Mbak Lala (the word ‘mbak’ is the Indonesian translation for ‘big sis’). I have only met them twice and both of our meetings were less than an hour. We haven’t really know each other so well but they still greeted me a Happy Eid Mubarak. They wish we can still gather on next year’s Ramadhan and they wish me a happy holiday. Mbak Lala even asked me, “Are you ready for becoming a better person?”.

27-ScreenCapture WA Mbak Amel Teladan 57 28-ScreenCapture SMS Mbak Lala

And then I felt.. wut? We barely know each other yet they still care about us, their junior they barely know. Though today is not the first time I received warm messages from my high school senior, I’m still amazed by the way my high school seniors show their affections toward their juniors. They make us feel welcomed by treating us like a part of their family.

And I thought.. what if everyone have this kind of acceptance to new people around them? What if everyone give warm welcome to outsiders among them? I assure you that receiving those kind of warm welcomes made me feel like coming home. And I guess this kind of tradition -welcoming people warmly- is worth to be preserved.

The attention my high school seniors give to us implicitly taught me one thing: share positive vibes everywhere, every time, and to everyone. And as long as we’re alive, why not?

I guess that’s all I want to say. I’m not going to make a long-poetic closure for this post as it’s midnight here and I should go to bed.
So, I guess.. arrivederci! 🙂

Love, CA.