I Am Sarahza: A Proof That The Butterfly Effect Exists

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(Disclaimer: this post is written in Indonesian because I Am Sarahza is also written in Indonesian)

Saya tidak akan me-review karya keenam Hanum Salsabiela Rais dan Rangga Almahendra dari A sampai Z karena saya yakin banyak orang yang bisa melakukannya lebih bagus dari saya. Alih-alih, saya akan merefleksikan perjalanan perasaan saya beserta beberapa bulir hikmah yang saya garis bawahi ketika membaca I Am Sarahza, sebuah rekam jejak perjuangan Hanum dan Rangga menanti buah hati selama hampir 12 tahun.

I Am Sarahza merupakan ‘buku sejarah’ perjuangan Hanum dan Rangga menanti keturunan. Sebagaimana semestinya perjuangan, novel ini menceritakan perjuangan dalam rentang waktu yang panjang, yakni sekitar kurang lebih sebelas tahun. Cerita diawali dengan pertemuan Hanum dengan Rangga di parkiran FKG UGM dan diakhiri dengan kelahiran putri mereka, Sarahza Reashira, sebelas tahun kemudian. Di antaranya? Perjuangan hebat seorang perempuan untuk go straight outta hell alive: 5x inseminasi buatan, 20x terapi herbal, dan 6x bayi tabung (IVF).

Kenapa harus banget pakai diksi go straight outta hell ya karena perjuangan Hanum masyaallah banget. Gimana enggak? Kesuburan seorang perempuan itu—setuju nggak setuju, percaya nggak percaya—sebuah aset berharga, sebuah nilai plus bagi seorang perempuan. Dalam I Am Sarahza, Hanum menceritakan dengan gamblang sebelas tahun pernikahannya yang dihantui oleh pertanyaan “suburkah aku?”. Selama sebelas tahun, batinnya bergulat mempertanyakan nilai dirinya sendiri, nilai yang seharusnya bisa ia banggakan sebagai bagian utuh dari dirinya.

The Butterfly Effect

Perjuangan dan pergulatan batin sebelas tahun Hanum menurutnya berakar pada satu kejadian penting dalam hidupnya. Saat itu, pada perayaan ulang tahun ke-2 pernikahan mereka, Hanum berkata kepada Rangga:

“Buatku nggak punya anak juga nggak papa.”

Bum! Kalimat tujuh kata itu dengan mantap mengalir dari bibir Hanum. Diceritakan, pada saat mendengarnya, Rangga takut bahwa perkataan Hanum akan diamini malaikat yang mendengarkan.

Kalimat emosional itu merembet keluar karena Hanum pada saat itu tidak ingin menomorduakan kariernya sebagai presenter TV di bawah kepentingan keluarga, yakni mengusahakan keturunan sebelum keadaan semakin rumit. Sebenarnya, perasaan Hanum bisa dipahami. Pada saat itu, ia tengah menjalani kehidupan yang ia inginkan—berkecimpung di dunia media—setelah selama enam tahun berkutat pada dunia yang tidak ia nikmati—kedokteran gigi. Sebagai seseorang yang tengah mencicipi terpenuhinya kebutuhan akan self-actualization, jelas Hanum tidak akan semudah itu melepas sumber kebahagiaannya hanya demi menemani Rangga kuliah di Austria.

Akan tetapi, terlepas dari relativitas benar-salah terhadap persepsi masing-masing orang, tidak selalu apa yang bisa dipahami itu harus dibenarkan. Dampak dari perilaku Hanum muda yang dilandaskan pada emosi dan ego ternyata menggema melintasi ruang waktu hingga sebelas tahun kemudian dan juga seterusnya. The Butterfly Effect, suatu perubahan atau tindakan kecil di masa lalu dapat berdampak besar di masa depan. Sehingga, bisa kukatakan bahwa bulir hikmah utama dan terpenting dari cerita ini adalah selalu berhati-hati dalam setiap tindakan, seremeh apapun tindakan itu, seremeh berbicara.

The Playbook

Penantian Hanum dan Rangga yang diceritakan dalam novel ini mengingatkanku akan suatu kejadian lampau yang pernah kualami. Pada saat itu, aku tengah bersekolah di tingkat 2 suatu sekolah dasar yang luar biasa. Guru kami dan asistennya akan mengajari kami cara menyusun “jaring-jaring laba-laba” dari dua bilah kayu yang disilangkan dan gulungan benang warna-warni. Karena keterampilan itu perlu pengarahan dan pembiasaan sekitar sepuluh menit, murid-muridnya dipanggil secara bergantian. Mereka hanya memanggil dua murid setiap sepuluh menit. Sehingga, untuk mengisi waktu menunggu giliran, mereka menginstruksikan kami untuk bersantai di kelas. “Kalian terserah mau ngapain aja, yang penting bersantai,” begitu perintah guruku.

Begitulah kami selama beberapa jam kemudian. Ada temanku yang berbincang, ada temanku yang membaca buku. Pada saat itu, aku yang tidak sabar untuk segera menyusun “jaring-jaring laba-laba” tidak bisa benar-benar bersantai. Aku berusaha berbincang dengan temanku dan membaca, tetapi mataku kerap curi-curi pandang ke arah teman-temanku yang telah terlebih dahulu dipanggil untuk menyusun “jaring-jaring laba-laba”. Ketika teman-temanku menyebar ke segala penjuru ruang kelas untuk benar-benar bersantai, aku terdiam menunggu dengan duduk tenang dan rapi di karpet dekat guru dengan kedok pura-pura membaca. Rupanya gelagatku itu diketahui oleh guruku. Alhasil, aku harus menyaksikan semua temanku—kecuali satu orang yang kini aku lupa siapa—dipanggil dahulu sebelum aku. Ya, aku menjadi orang yang dipanggil kedua dari terakhir. Saat itu jujur rasanya sedih. Apa salahku? Bukankah aku jelas-jelas menunjukkan minat pada kegiatan menyusun “jaring-jaring laba-laba” itu? Kenapa justru teman-temanku yang senang bermain-main itu yang dipanggil terlebih dahulu?

Seolah melempar memori akan kejadian itu ke mukaku sekarang, I Am Sarahza mengingatkanku bahwa kesalahanku pada saat itu adalah satu: enggan mengikuti petunjuk. Boleh jadi aku yang paling berminat, tetapi karena aku tidak mengikuti the playbook—aturan mainnya—, maka aku masih kalah.

Pada kasus yang dialami Hanum dan Rangga, Hanum merasa bahwa ia melupakan playbook-nya, yakni kitab suci Alquran. Ia merasa bahwa selama ia menginginkan keturunan, ia tidak pernah benar-benar meresapi setiap prosesnya sesuai Alquran dan sunnah. Ia lupa bahwa ada peraturan main yang harus ditaati supaya Yang Maha Kuasa berkenan memberikan kuasa-Nya.

The Main Objective

Karena I Am Sarahza berotasi mengelilingi perjuangan Hanum mengusahakan keberadaan janin dalam rahimnya, novel ini juga berfokus pada tugas utama seorang perempuan. Pada awal novel, diceritakan bahwa Hanum adalah seorang mahasiswi koass kedokteran gigi yang merasa tidak bahagia dengan takdirnya menjadi dokter gigi. Hal ini karena ia ternyata memiliki minat yang lebih besar pada dunia media dan jurnalistik. Ketika pada akhirnya ia bisa menyelami dunia media dan jurnalistik, ia menjadi lebih memihak pada kariernya daripada keluarga kecilnya bersama Rangga. Bahasa kerennya, Hanum menjadi career-oriented.

Hal ini kemudian menimbulkan banyak rintangan bagi Hanum dan Rangga dalam memperoleh keturunan. Ketika akhirnya Hanum merasa berada di titik nadir hidupnya, Hanum mengevaluasi orientasi hidupnya dan melakukan pivot, perputaran sebesar 180 derajat. Ia kemudian menjadikan rida Allah SWT sebagai orientasinya. Padahal, dalam ajaran agama Islam, rida Allah SWT bagi perempuan yang sudah menikah adalah rida suami, bukan pada karier, ketenaran, dan segala hal duniawi lainnya. Hanum menjadi afterlife-oriented, berorientasi surga.

Kisah perubahan orientasi Hanum mengingatkanku akan game masa kecil yang suka kumainkan. Dalam beragam game tersebut, ada yang istilahnya main objective (tujuan utama) dan small errands (pekerjaan sampingan). Main objective jelas lebih susah untuk dilakukan karena ada banyak langkah rumit yang harus dikerjakan untuk menyelesaikannya. Sementara itu, small errands adalah pekerjaan ringan yang tidak memakan waktu dan pikiran, tetapi memberi reward yang lumayan. Terkadang mengerjakan banyak small errands bisa lebih menyenangkan daripada melanjutkan misi utama untuk menyelesaikan main objective. Akan tetapi, sebanyak apapun small errands yang kukerjakan, game tidak akan selesai.

Begitu pula dengan hidup. I Am Sarahza mengingatkanku kembali bahwa dalam hidup ini pasti ada hal-hal kecil menyenangkan yang bisa mengalihkan fokus kita dari mencapai tujuan utama. Sebut saja karier, kemewahan, dan kesenangan duniawi yang menggiurkan. Sementara itu, kita terkadang sering melupa bahwa ada main objective yang harus kita tuntaskan sebaik-baiknya. Apakah main objective kita sebagai manusia? Sekali lagi, jawaban dari pertanyaan ini relatif. Akan tetapi, aku cukup yakin bahwa banyak yang setuju bahwa salah satu tujuan kita di dunia ini adalah untuk menjadi orang yang pantas mendapat surga-Nya.


Ada banyak bulir hikmah lain yang bisa dipetik dari I Am Sarahza, tetapi setidaknya tiga di atas merupakan tiga bulir hikmah yang paling mengena bagiku. Ketika membaca novel ini, aku tidak menangis, sepertinya. Mata berkaca-kaca, iya, tetapi dengan sekali kejap air mata itu hilang seperti diserap lagi oleh kantung pembuatnya. Meskipun ada beberapa ulasan I Am Sarahza yang menyebutkan bahwa novel ini membuat mereka menangis meraung-raung ketika membacanya, aku tidak menangis. Entahlah.

Akan tetapi, I Am Sarahza berkali-kali membuatku harus berhenti membaca dan meresapi apa yang barusan dipindai oleh kedua bola mataku. Beberapa kali aku menjadi teringat akan kejadian masa lalu karena mendadak jawaban kejadian masa lalu itu kutemukan verifikasinya pada novel itu. Beberapa kali pula aku harus berhenti untuk beristigfar karena I Am Sarahza rupanya juga menjadi buku yang mencatat dosa-dosaku. Beberapa kali pula aku harus berhenti untuk menanamkan bulir hikmah yang kutemukan kuat-kuat dalam diriku supaya aku kelak tidak lupa.

I Am Sarahza merupakan buku mengenai perjuangan. Sungguh tidak berlebihan apabila aku mengatakan bahwa I Am Sarahza menjadi kado indah dari Hanum dan Rangga bagi pembaca. Kado yang dapat mencegah pembaca terperosok dalam lubang yang sama, kado yang dapat menjadi lengan bagi yang perlu dikuatkan. Sekalipun tidak ada satu pejuang pun yang langsung menang di medan perang sehingga kita perlu bantuan banyak tangan untuk berjuang. Jadi, selamat membaca dan merasakan sensasinya!

Sarahza

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Never Have I Taken A Commercial This Serious

Hullo! It is almost that time of the year again: holiday. Yeayyy! I have been trying to retain ideas on my mind until next Wednesday (the day I finish this semester) so that I can focus on my final exam, but oh well, I guess I can’t hold it anymore and I guess this piece won’t really bother my exam prep. So here it goes!

Around three weeks ago, 50s-90s musics were on my YouTube’s top suggestion list since I often played Sinatra’s while writing my almost-100-folio-pages assignment. If I’m not mistaken, before the never ending music suggestion list played Bob Dylan’s Mr. Tambourine Man, a disturbing short silence followed by a traditional Javanese rhythm came along out of nowhere.  I minimized my Word and checked my YouTube tab to find a commercial made by Blue Band Indonesia (a prominent margarine brand under the flag of Unilever) which featured my hometown, Yogyakarta. It turned out that the commercial was a web-serial with the duration of 12 minute-ish. I somehow didn’t want to click that Skip Ad button on the bottom right side, and so I watched it for the next 12 minutes.

The serial is titled Cerita Nada and it tells the story of a nuclear metropolitan family who returned to Yogyakarta to celebrate Ramadhan with relatives. It only has three episodes which is released once in a week, and I have been following that serial until today, the day it ended (I guess). I’m not going to talk too much about the plot, you can just watch it down below:

(make sure you’ve watched the episodes down below before moving on to my next paragraph as I will reveal more spoilers and pop the magic!)

As a matter of fact, compared to Tropicana Slim’s Sore which came out around a year ago, this serial is not highly buzzed among Indonesians. Although Blue Band is more widely used among Indonesians than Tropicana Slim’s Stevia Sugar (the product introduced on Sore), it’s not too surprising that Sore went more viral than Cerita Nada. Why? I guess Tropicana Slim understands the basic recipe for Indonesians better than Blue Band: love story and settings abroad.

(a peek on Sore)

Besides that, if we compare both serials, Sore seems to be crafted more artistically than Cerita Nada. Sore has a unique plot, a great choice of original soundtracks and artists (Adhitia Sofyan and Kunto Aji), and an uncommon way of promoting its product (they rarely put Stevia in its frames). Adhitia Sofyan’s Forget Jakarta on the beginning of the first episode is enough to light people’s curiosity and capture their attention for the next 12 minutes. Meanwhile, Cerita Nada is simply not that unique. Plus, the way each character interacts with others seems too unnatural. In my honest opinion, it is harder to enjoy Cerita Nada because some parts are too soap opera-ish.

HOWEVER, I highly appreciate the writer of Cerita Nada for the moral values it contains. I praise anyone who made the story for bringing up Indonesia’s latest national problem: the lack of attention towards surrounding due to gadget use. I’ve experienced it myself (being ignored for gadget and being chosen second after other people), and believe me, Key (the child in the story) and Nada (the mom, the wife) perfectly resembles what I feel. This is a problem most people have, but too scared to speak about since it is often being done by parents, older people, whom we must respect. I really hope that more people will watch this because I believe this serial can speak what we aren’t brave enough to speak about.

Another thing that I like from this serial is that it implies the idea of the importance of food as a fuel for love. Yep, this sounds cheesy too in my ears, but believe me, we really are what we eat. Back when I was a kid, my grandma (who happens to be the greatest home cook I’ve ever known ’till now) told me that “Love springs from the stomach”. She told me that the reason why she always fed her family with her own cooking is because homemade foods also contains love other than those physiologically-important nutrients. It sounds cheesy, but she’s right. You can feel the difference between restaurant’s food and your mom-made or your grandma-made food; those mom-made or grandma-made food feels like home. And here, on the series, most of their problems are solved by cookies. It seems unrealistic though, but hey, good food can lead to a good conversation–or so they say: good food, good mood.

So, bottom line, thank you Blue Band and Tropicana Slim for pioneering creative audiovisuals to promote health (and your product, of course). I truly enjoy the storytelling, and I really hope that someday in the near future our TV channels will be filled with quality contents like these.

Arrivederci, peeps! Until next week (I guess, ehehe).

Why “The Greatest Showman” Is NOT The Greatest

Disclaimer: if you haven’t watched “The Greatest Showman” and you don’t want any expectations ruined, you better skip this post and go ahead.

Okay, okay, before I elaborate the reason why I ‘mock’ everyone’s favorite lately, I must inform you that I watch this movie without any expectation. I hadn’t heard anything about The Greatest Showman until the day I accidentally saw the trailer on a local cinema while I and my dad queued for Star Wars: The Last Jedi. The trailer didn’t enchant me the way Pitch Perfect 3‘s enchanted me (which happened to roll on the screen right after The Greatest Showman‘s trailer). Just compare it yourself:

To me, The Greatest Showman‘s trailer is lacking of conflicts and baits. The trailer only emphasizes its audio and visual aspects, it doesn’t sell the story. On the contrary, Pitch Perfect 3‘s trailer has everything a trailer should has: short and catchy line(s) that describes the whole conflict the movie is about. It also has interesting puns (thanks to Amy!)(but I’m fully aware though that puns won’t be available on The Greatest Showman since both of them are on the different pole of the genre spectrum).

However, since I don’t want to miss any Oscar-potential movies, I decided to watch The Greatest Showman too, without any expectation. Plus, people say that it is even better than the anticipated Insidious 4, so why not? Turns out… I like it! Despite the trailer, The Greatest Showman gives me more satisfaction than Pitch Perfect 3!

Yes, I admit it, The Greatest Showman is totally a movie worth watching. It is great, really. But why do I still think that it is not the greatest?

Now that I’ve watched The Greatest Showman, I put it on the same class as La La Land. Why? Because both of them are musicals and quite phenomenal.

Comparing those two makes me notice flaws in The Greatest Showman. But before I go, I must inform the great things about The Greatest Showman to make it fair:

Its audio and visual are really pleasing.

The great thing about The Greatest Showman is that the crew managed to find the perfect cast for the characters. All of them are so good on screen: eye-pleasing, great at acting, and able to sing!

You can see the chemistry between Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams when they’re on screen. I see that both of them are suitable for each other ’till I and my friend (who I went to the movie with) panicked when P.T. Barnum (Hugh Jackman) started being flirty with Jenny Lind (Rebecca Ferguson). You can also see the chemistry between Zac Efron and Zendaya when they sing “Rewrite The Stars”.

Plus, the colors of the scenes (although still not good as La La Land‘s) are able to make us feel the mood the story wants us to feel. Bright colors coated with upbeat lyrics and tones really make me want to sing and dance (although I can’t). Dark Manhattan sky with some household fumes make me feel like I was suffering the way they do. The depiction is great, honestly.

The set is neatly arranged too. I can see that the crew put lots of effort on it, mostly on the costumes. Dang, the costumes are so old fashioned (and it is a good thing, of course, considering its era of the story)! I wonder… is it possible for The Greatest Showman to win the Oscars for The Best Costume Design this year?

The last great thing about The Greatest Showman is the lyrics of the song they sing. The lyrics really speaks its singer’s heart.. it is the kind of song that touches your soul, kind of. When I heard it, I feel like I was waiting for the next part of the song because I want to know what can possibly happen next. Although the lyrics are better than La La Land’s or Beauty and The Beast’s (another musical you must have heard of), I don’t find it as catchy as La La Land’s.

Yes, The Greatest Showman is great, but for me, there are still some flaws that keep it a little lower than La La Land on my personal chart:

1. The story can be easily guessed.

Since the very beginning of the movie, everything seems so smooth. Although P.T. Barnum has lots of misfortune, he seems like he’s able to overcome his problem eventually. You won’t see a lot of his struggle on the movie and that will make you feel like everything is kinda easy for him. The father of the girl he likes disapproves him… but hey, look, he get her eventually! He’s fired from his job… but hey, look, he has a tricky idea! And so on. It is unlike the characters in La La Land or in Sing whose struggles can bring out our empathy.

So, as I watched the movie, I couldn’t stop thinking “What is the big conflict which he cannot overcome easily?”. And until the end, I don’t see one. There is too many small conflicts until there’s no big fat conflict as its main attraction.

2. Unexplained cases and unfinished conflicts.

  1. When P.T. Barnum mails Charity regularly, what is his address? Isn’t he homeless? How could he still receive messages from her?
  2. What does he, a poor little boy, do on his childhood and teen age ’till he can walk up to Charity’s parents’ door to ask for her with a clean suit and a fancy hat attached to his body?
  3. Okay, what’s wrong with P.T. Barnum and apples? You can see two apples on this movie: one when P.T. Barnum is still a boy and one when P.T. Barnum is already a dad. The problem is, you don’t get to see him finish eating the first one! Undoubtedly, you’ll mistaken the second apple as the first one because the second appears on screen not long after the first!
  4. Why does people keep saying that he is a fraud and his circus is fake?
  5. What happened to the protesters? Does moving the circus to a tent on the outskirts of Manhattan silence them?

I wanted to add “He’s very stupid because he buy a lavish gigantic house instead of paying his debt” to the list, but that won’t be fair.

The flaws aren’t that many, but those still disturb me from completely enjoying the movie. Nonetheless, the great things about The Greatest Showman can still cover its flaws, making it still eligible as one of the movies you recommend to friends.

If you have watched the movie and you agree or disagree with me, tell me on the comment section below! I’d love to know what you think. (Wow, I sound like a YouTube-er). Arrivederci!

The Question Only Time Can Answer

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What’s your plan for the next 20 years?

That is the question I must answer as a consequence of being a newly registered medical student (not really, never in a million years I’ll be entitled as a doctor). As someone who entered med school for the knowledge it provides and not for the curing license it gives, I have no plan at all. Therefore, this question haunts me day and night as the deadline of the task is not getting any longer.

Wherever and whenever I try to arrange the plans I’ll provide as an answer to that one particular question, I have flashbacks of a quite enlightening conversation I had with some friends. We  were sitting in my class on a one fine afternoon after school. Out of nowhere, someone asked me why I consider choosing health nutrition as the major I wanted to excel in although I had a greater passion in something else (communication). Long story short, I told them that I chose it because I believe it is the most logical thing to do; it is the all-in-one package of things I want to study.

In the university I enrolled in, the health nutrition major demands us to study diverse topics (which I’m interested in): communication, management, psychology, and philosophy. I’ve seen other majors’ curriculum and none of those are as diverse as health nutrition’s. Since I’m totally aware that college is expensive and it is more likely to be a chance of a lifetime, I try my best to pick the major that gives the greatest reliever for my thirst of knowledge.

At that time, I shared my worries to those who were there. I told them that I was in a dilemma: should I follow my heart (which will more likely lead me to the thing I’m really passionate about) or should I follow my brain (which decided to think logically)? At that time, my inner self rooted for my brain as it has more pros instead of cons. However, never had I before imagined my self being a nutritionist, telling people to live healthy while I myself prefer greasy lamb chop than carrots and broccoli.

Probably pitying me for drowning in my own worries, a free-spirited friend of mine spilled his opinions out, “You cannot decide who you want to be from what undergraduate major you choose. Undergraduate studies only carve the way you think. What you’ll be is decided once you study in postgraduate school.”

You see, he and I are nothing alike. All my life, I used to have a life-long plan. I had always known what school I want to study in, I had always discovered what I wanted to do in life. But him? He is some kind of a free-spirited artist. He never really thinks his life through, but somehow he managed to keep himself afloat in this deadly current named life. He enjoys his life to its fullest while I focus on the present deeds I must do in order to secure my upcoming happiness in the future. Although I understand his principles, I always find it hard to imagine my self having those as mine.

However, that time, I kinda trust his words. Maybe I found it true, or maybe I was too desperate looking for words that can soothe me. From that day on, I change my perspective. I won’t let my major steers my future; I’ll use my major as a vehicle to reach my future.

So, right now, by the time I write this, I don’t have any detailed plan or grand ambition when it comes to my life as a health nutrition stud (I haven’t even had a single class!). When it comes to my life as a health nutrition stud, I just want to start college, learn new things about a particular thing I’m interested into, and see whether it works for me or not. If it works, sure, I’ll try my best to excel in it. If it doesn’t, maybe I’ll try other things. As Rumi said:

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.

However, I still have lots of ambitions outside my life as a health nutrition stud. Since I’m aware that I’m a little bit derailed, I’m not going to rush to make things happen. I’m not going to take it hard on my self, too. From now on, I’ll try figure out how my vehicle works out before using it on a journey in an alien terrain en route to my ambition. Yet, it is still possible that someday I’ll grow an ambition in the “health nutrition land”.. who knows?

This time, I’m a little bit relaxed because I used to be in some kind of competition (competing to get the best junior high and high school in town) and now I’m not. College doesn’t work that way. In college, I believe success is no longer defined as “accepted in the school of your dream” or “stand out among others”; to me, the definition of success has transformed into “live happily and be the kind person you want to be“.

Well, maybe this is just a rambling from someone who entered a major due to logical reasons instead of any magical callings from the inside, but I’ve witnessed lots of friends who half-heartedly choose to stay in a major he or she doesn’t like because of harsh reality and I hope this helps (although, praise the Lord, I don’t stand on their shoe, so maybe this is not too accurate)(plus, I consciously choose my major as the vehicle of my choice).

So, to answer that haunting question, can I say that I can’t? I have never been a 38-year-old woman and I don’t know what I’m going to do when I’m at that age. The age 38 is still 20 years away from me; for an 18-year-old girl, that age feels indistinct. And.. within those 20 years, anything can happen. Life requires people to open doors that lead to lots of opportunity; life is full of plot twists and surprises. Sometimes we can go straight to our destination, but sometimes we need to take a detour just for the sake of life lessons. That question can only be answered by time with the help of sudden inspiration.. and I cannot be forced to answer it right away. So, instead of planning it down to every details, why don’t we just focus on walking down the road?

oh how I want to write this on my paper

Bukan Konsumsi Seorang Gadis

20(Disclaimer: this post is written in Indonesian because my target audience is any Indonesian, especially Indonesian parents)

Apabila kita menilik sejarah, Indonesia sudah sejak lama menganut sistem patriarki, sistem sosial yang menempatkan laki-laki sebagai sosok otoritas utama yang sentral dalam organisasi sosial. Laki-laki dinilai lebih kuat dan lebih tangguh daripada perempuan. Oleh karena itu, laki-laki berperan sebagai tulang punggung keluarga sementara perempuan lebih berperan sebagai penunjang kesuksesan laki-laki.

Sistem patriarki mungkin saja tumbuh di Indonesia berkat pengaruh berbagai pihak. Bisa saja sistem tersebut merupakan peninggalan budaya kerajaan-kerajaan masa lalu di Indonesia. Bisa juga sistem tersebut merupakan pengaruh agama tertentu yang memberikan pengajaran bahwa sejatinya mencari nafkah adalah tugas laki-laki sementara mengurus rumah tangga adalah tugas perempuan.

Budaya tetaplah budaya, suatu cara hidup yang berkembang dan dimiliki bersama oleh sekelompok orang yang diturunkan dari generasi ke generasi selanjutnya. Apabila sistem patriarki sejauh ini masih cocok dengan ideologi mayoritas masyarakat Indonesia, maka tak mengapalah sistem tersebut masih dilangsungkan. Apabila sekelompok masyarakat Indonesia masih sepaham dengan sistem ini, maka biarkanlah saja mereka meneruskan paham tersebut ke anak turun mereka. Apabila sekelompok masyarakat sudah tidak sepaham dengan sistem ini, maka biarkanlah saja pula mereka. Menurunkan suatu tradisi dari generasi ke generasi lain adalah kebebasan setiap individu, jadi tak perlulah ada perdebatan sengit di antara individu yang saling mencemooh ideologi masing-masing. Akan tetapi ada satu hal yang perlu diperhatikan ketika hendak menurunkan suatu paham, termasuk paham patriarki, kepada generasi selanjutnya: kesiapan generasi tersebut.

Sebelum kita membahas mengapa kesiapan suatu generasi perlu diperhatikan sebelum dipaparkan terhadap suatu paham, terutama paham patriarki, mari kita mengingat kembali kisah RA Kartini, pahlawan nasional pejuang kesetaraan hak bagi perempuan. RA Kartini terlahir pada 21 April 1879 di keluarga priyayi (kaum bangsawan Jawa). Pada usia 12 tahun, RA Kartini dipingit, yakni dilarang ke luar rumah. Adat pingit membatasi RA Kartini (dan ribuan perempuan lainnya pada zaman itu) dari berbagai hal, seperti menuntut ilmu di bangku sekolah. RA Kartini dipingit sampai beliau menikah dengan KRM Adipati Ario Singgih Djojo Adhiningrat yang bahkan tidak beliau kenal sebelumnya.

Sistem patriarki zaman sekarang memang hadir dalam wujud yang berbeda apabila dibandingkan dengan sistem patriarki yang ada pada zaman RA Kartini. Pada zaman sekarang, adat pingit memang sudah hampir tidak ada. Akan tetapi inti dari pemikiran sistem patriarki masih ada: bahwa laki-laki adalah tulang punggung keluarga dan perempuan berada di dapur saja.

Saya bukan seorang feminis pun seorang feminazi. Saya hanya merasa prihatin terhadap gadis-gadis Indonesia di luar sana yang masih menerima ungkapan “Kamu itu perempuan. Buat apa kamu berkarier? Perempuan berada di dapur saja.” Terlebih apalagi apabila gadis-gadis itu diperdengarkan dengan kalimat semacam “Buat apa kamu bersekolah tinggi apabila pada akhirnya kamu bertugas mengurus rumah tangga?”

Perlu orang-orang perhatikan bahwa seringan apapun perkataan yang terucap, apabila perkataan tersebut memiliki maksud untuk mempengaruhi seorang gadis untuk percaya bahwa takdirnya berada di dapur, gadis tersebut lama-kelamaan akan terpengaruhi. Lama-lama akan tertanam di benaknya bahwa apapun yang ia lakukan, ia akan menikah dan mengurusi keluarga. Karena gadis itu sudah terdoktrin, gadis tersebut tidak lagi akan serius dengan studinya. Ia tidak lagi memiliki cita-cita sebagai seorang individu. Cita-citanya beralih pada satu hal: membangun keluarga yang bahagia.

Membangun keluarga yang bahagia tentu adalah cita-cita yang mulia. Namun apabila hal itu merupakan satu-satunya cita-cita seorang gadis (yang tentunya belum menikah), yang benar saja?! Tidak ada yang bisa menjamin bahwa seorang gadis akan mendapatkan pasangan begitu ia lulus dari sekolah. Pun tidak ada yang bisa menjamin bahwa kebutuhan seorang gadis dapat dipenuhi oleh orang tuanya hingga gadis tersebut dipinang.

Seorang gadis harus memiliki ilmu yang tinggi. Ia harus dapat mandiri karena ketidakpastian itu selalu ada. Tidak ada yang menjamin bahwa pernikahan bisa memenuhi semua kebutuhan perempuan. Jika ternyata laki-laki tidak dapat memenuhi perempuan yang menjadi istrinya, perempuan tersebut bisa membantu sang laki-laki mencari nafkah. Pada dasarnya, menjadi seorang istri atau tidak, seorang perempuan harus berpendidikan tinggi. Toh generasi penerus bangsa pun memerlukan ibu yang cerdas sebagai ‘sekolah pertama’-nya apabila generasi penerus bangsa tersebut diharapkan membawa kebaikan.

Oleh karena itu, apabila seseorang hendak meneruskan paham patriarki dengan menasihati seorang perempuan mengenai prioritasnya (karier atau keluarga), lakukanlah kepada perempuan yang sudah siap, perempuan yang sekiranya sudah dapat berdiri di atas kakinya sendiri. Jangan katakan hal itu kepada seorang gadis yang masih belajar dan masih memperjuangkan cita-citanya. Jangan rusak cita-cita seorang gadis dengan visi yang belum pasti kapan akan terjadi.

How Every Street Campaign Should Have Been

There was a spectacular street campaign on Malioboro Street, Yogyakarta, Indonesia on June 24, 2014. As the presidential election is going to be held on July 9, 2014, the supporters of both candidates (Jokowi-Jusuf Kalla and Prabowo-Hatta Rajasa) have started the street campaign.

In Indonesia, every street campaign is brutal. The supporters of a candidate are roaming around the city with their made-up noisy motorcycles. And sometimes, the street campaign triggers a street fight between two sides who have the slightest mutuality. I really don’t get it why the supporters do that, the fight and made-up noises. I suppose those things tend to make people hate them more, isn’t it?

Just yesterday, I went to Malioboro and found a LOT of people gathered on the Malioboro Street to do a silent campaign. Well, not really silent, but it’s way more quiet and polite. Those people are non-party people around Malioboro who supports Jokowi-Jusuf Kalla. They held a parade around Malioboro. I’m not sure where did the parade started and ended, but I’m pretty sure the parade went through Malioboro and Kraton Yogyakarta.

What makes me think that the parade was how every street campaign should have been like is how effective, polite, and bewitching it is. They didn’t do any anarchy gestures, instead they smiled. They didn’t make useless loud noises, instead they sing a song about Jokowi-Jusuf Kalla accompanied by our traditional instruments (gamelan). Though it is one of the political strategies to win the election, it’s entertaining and not nauseating. I’m not talking about politics nor a candidate here, and by writing this doesn’t mean that I support a particular candidate (I’m still too young to understand politic), but what I really want to say is that I hope every street campaign is like this, or maybe better than this. I hope that every street campaign is educating, entertaining, and true.

Here, I’ll show you some pictures I got yesterday:

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I’m A Teenager: What Am I Going To Do?!

I have just received the result of my psychological test earlier which actually should help me determine my future. There, I found out that I have interest  in things which concludes laterary, aesthetic, social service, personal contact, and etc. By reading those 4 points, I didn’t feel being helped. I felt like I’m in a crossroad and ahead me there are lots of roads and I’m obligated to choose ONLY one road RIGHT AWAY. Then, a question crossed in my mind:

I’m a teenager; what am I going to do in my life? Who am I going to be?

And, yes, I suppose that is a question most of teenagers ask to themselves when they are moving toward maturity. Actually, I don’t really like the word ‘maturity’ since it sounds a little bit annoying and stiff, but I guess there is no other better English word to replace that word?

So, back to the topic, as a teenager, I humbly say that being a teenager is fun yet a crap. If you’re a teenager who don’t take your life seriously, fine, it’s easy to do your life. But if you’re a teenager who take your life seriously -or way to serious!-, the question above will haunt your whole teenage days.

The days of being a teenager are the best days of everyone’s life. We start to do fun things on our own without parental guidance.. that’s amazing! Yet the days of being a teenager are the days when ourselves are in our most vulnerable conditions. We start to figure things and have fun, but then we start to doubt things. We start to doubt who we are and other craps like that. We’re in the phase where we are trying to discover our true identity. And when we should discover things like that, society (or maybe system) force us to plan our WHOLE LIFE right away, regardless the fact that we’re still unconcern about our identity, by asking us to choose majors in university. That’s undeniably depressing! Here’s my impression of teenagers who take their lives seriously and get depressed eventually:

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Here, I gotta say, that right now, I agree with what Ted Mosby of How I Met Your Mother said:

How I Met Your Mother S04E19 "Murtaugh" QuotesThere I show you. But then, in How I Met Your Mother S04E19 titled “Murtaugh” (yes, I’m a fan of HIMYM), Robin Scherbatsky said:

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What can I say? I also agree with her. In an other way, being a teenager is fun, you also know that, right? I don’t mean to be miss-know-it-all, but I think all we teenagers have to do in our teenage days is just to do it. I know that advice REALLY SUCKS (I even consider that as the worst advice I have ever said), but what else can I say? We can’t just skip our life. I guess  all we have to do is do our best in this life and choose things wisely. And pray to God, of course. Determining what are we going to be in this life is sure a hard challenge.. but I guess we can try, right?

Well, actually, I even haven’t discovered many things in my life -I even haven’t discover my true identity! So, if you have any idea about this hauntingly beautiful crap, I would be very pleased if you share your advice on the comment below. Actually, that’s my purpose on writing this article, I NEED ADVICE!

Well, I guess that’s enough for today. Speak your ideas!

Arrivederci! Till we meet again.
Me 🙂