Under the Ferris Wheel

Navy Pier

It was a bright clear Sunday when I and Aislinn decided to take a walk around the city. We rarely go out on Sundays. Instead of having a couple time outside the apartment, we are likely to sit on a couch and watch movies or read different books with our hands clutched. Just enjoying our holiday in silence since our workdays tend to be hectic.

Maybe just because of boredom or other reason, we don’t really know exactly, we decided to spend this Sunday outside the apartment. It all started when Aislinn woke up and rolled crazily on the bed and nearly fall down. I didn’t know what she was dreaming about, and with her sleepy eyes, she said, “Peter, do you want to go for a walk and grab an ice cream?”. And I said, “What?”. And then she said, “Pretty please? I think today is going to be a goooood day for a walk,”. And yes, she said that ‘good’ word for more than 10 seconds.

After we got dressed and ready, I in my shirt and Aislinn in her sundress, we start strolling down the city. We’re talking about unimportant things and though it’s a waste of energy, I still enjoyed it. Despite the fact that Aislinn is my wife (so basically I love doing anything with her), having a small talk outside the room was quite refreshing for an animation designer like me.

“Honey, what flavor do you want?” she asked me when she was about to order.

“Chocolate peanut butter,”

“Chocolate peanut butter and cranberry, please,” she said. She opened her purse, grabbed some pennies, and paid.

It might seemed weird when a girl pay for things in a date, when the boy should be the one who pay, but we both don’t care. Love is about sharing everything you want to share with the people you love. Even the silliest thing in marriage, like money. Don’t call me a chicken, I’m still a gentleman. I pay the expensive things. Haha.

“Here you go!” she said, handing me a cone of ice cream.

“Thank you!”

We started walking toward the ferris wheel near the beach. We didn’t ride the ferris wheel, we just sat under it. We have a favorite bench under the ferris wheel which is facing the sea. That’s where we sat when we was on our first date.

“So, how’s your Sunday, Mrs. Goode?” I asked.

She turned her face to me and smiled, “Until now, pretty good, Mr. Goode,”

It’s funny how when you fall in love, you’ll memorize everything about her/him. When a man stays single, he rarely memorize the details of a girl since it’s not a man thing. But when you fall in love, everything seem to be carved on your brain. You’ll memorize how her lips crooked when she smiles or how good is the smell of her perfume. Everything.

“It’s so refreshing, isn’t it? Having a walk on a sunny Sunday,” she said, and then continued her words after she licked her ice cream, “I am a little bit bored editing scripts,”

Aislinn is an editor. She often edits movie scripts. But actually, her real passion is editing novels. She once said to me ‘Making adjustments on a novel that will make a good reading feels makes me feel amazing. Moreover if the novel I edited become a best-seller! I somehow feel useful’.

“But that’s still your passion, isn’t it, Honey?”

“It is.. but I guess I need something new. Something that will cause a greater impact to the world,”

“Well you can try to write seriously. Your short stories and poems are great, remember?”

She stared at me. I can see a little desperation and a glimpse of relief in her eyes. “Thanks, Honey,”

“Any-”

I hadn’t finished my words when we heard a woman scream furiously. We automatically searched the source of the sound. It was just on the other side of the ferris wheel where the source of the sound was. The source of the sound was a pregnant woman screaming while holding her tummy. Besides her, her -probably- 6 years-old boy were staring at her mom, knowing nothing to do.

In a blink of an eye, I already saw Aislinn running towards that pregnant woman. I followed her though I didn’t know what to do. Call 911? Of course, but what should I do in the mean time?

I dialed 911 and Aislinn knelt besides her. In a very weak voice, the woman said, “Bring me to the hospital. Call my husband and take care of my son,”

“Okay! My husband had called an ambulance to bring you to the hospital and please stay calm! Say, what’s your name?”

“I’m.. I’m Mrs. Abernathy. A.. Aisha,” she said. She sounded like she’s about to faint.

“Okay, Aisha. I’ll call your husband,”

I didn’t know how she did it but Aislinn acted calmly. Her hands trembled a little when she’s dialing Mr. Abernathy using Aisha’s phone, but she’s so calm. She also helped Aisha to breath properly. Different from Aislinn, I’m panicking inside. What if the ambulance took a long time to get here? What if Aisha delivered the baby here?

I felt relieved when I heard the siren of the ambulance. The nurses were coming out and helping Aisha to get in. Meanwhile, Aislinn dialed Mr. Abernathy for the second time to tell him where we and his wife was heading.

When we arrived at the hospital, I registered Aisha and Aisha was taken to another room where I couldn’t go to. I sat down on a bench beside Aislinn who was trying to distract the boy from what happened to his mom.

“What’s your name, Hero?” Aislinn asked. When he didn’t answer, she said, “My name is Aislinn. I’m a stranger but you can trust me. Your mom is okay, okay? She’s about to give you a brother or a sister!”

The little boy nodded a little and he gave a wary look at me. Aislinn said, “He’s my husband, Hero. His name is Peter. You can trust him too!”

“Hi Hero, I’m Peter!” I said.

And then the boy opened his mouth shyly, “I’m Zafran,”

“Wow, that’s such a good name, Zafran!” Aislinn praised him. “Tell me, do you like playing soccer?”

“Yes,”

“Okay. Who’s your favorite player?”

I walked to the entrance door to wait Mr. Abernathy and I could no longer hear their conversation. A few minutes later, I saw a man in a black coat running towards the hospital. I automatically said, “Mr. Abernathy?”

“Yeah! Yeah! Thank you, Peter! You’re Aislinn’s husband, right?” He was gasping so fast for air.

“Yeah. Your wife is inside and your son is with Aislinn down the hall,” I said, pointing a white and blue hall where Aislinn and Zafran was.

I followed Mr. Abernathy to the hall. Aislinn and Zafran were talking to each other when Zafran saw his dad and ran to hug him. I could see a great smile on both Aislinn and Zafran.

“Thank you so much, I owe you both a lot,” Mr. Abernathy said, tightening his hug on Zafran.

“It’s alright,” Aislinn said.

“Congratulations, Mr. Abernathy. May your baby born in a great health,” I said to him.

“Thank you so much, Aislinn and Peter. May your marriage blessed in joy,”

We nodded to him and went outside. I was about to walk Aislinn home when she grabbed my hand and asking me to sit next to her on a bench outside the hospital. She rested her head on my shoulder and I could feel her breathing fast. Her body was shaking and I figured out that she’s crying in silence. She was shocked.

“Hey, Aislinn Honey.. Don’t cry! You did good back there,” I reached her body and wrapped my arms around it.

Aislinn was crying on my chest. I could see people were watching us but I didn’t care. I kissed her forehead and brushed her red hair, doing anything to comfort her. Well, anything wise enough to be done in public.

A moment later, Aislinn said, “I know I did good.. I’m just afraid,”

“Well there’s nothing to be afraid of,”

“No, there is! What if we failed to bring her to the hospital on time? What if-”

“Honey, we succeed. You succeed. I don’t know what are you thinking about yourself, but you’re a hero! You saved someone’s life, no, two people’s life!”

She nodded. “I just want to save her, you know? Being useful to someone..”

“And you did save her. You’re already useful,”

She didn’t move in my arms. Instead, she said, “You know, Peter? I’m no Einstein. But I want to help others by what I know even though I know less. I want to do something good,”

“I know, Aislinn, I know. You don’t need to be Einstein to do something good. You can be just Aislinn and do something good. And I love Aislinn, I don’t love Einstein. So don’t compare yourself to Einstein. Be yourself, Honey. I know that Aislinn can do a lot of good things,”

Aislinn nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m shocked,”

“It’s okay,” I kissed her forehead again. And when she really stopped trembling, I let go off my hug and say, “Hey, wanna go home or grab some burgers? I’ll pay for hero of the day,”

She smiled weakly, “Burgers,”

“Alright then! To burgers we go!”

I held her hands and we went to the nearest burger shop. On our way there, Aislinn moved her hand from mine and hugged my arms. “Thank you. For everything,”

And she smiled. Her smile was so bright. That smile is the kind of smile that shows satisfaction, glad, and happiness. That smile is the kind of smile I would never stop looking at.

One thought on “Under the Ferris Wheel

  1. Hey Alima! Guess who?
    To get into the writing mood, I’ll be using English when commenting, if that’s alright with you~ Right, so I noticed a few things I would change if I were you–but then again, I tried to take a paragraph from your short story and add a few things in it. I guess it was overkill, but hey! It’s been a while since I last wrote and I was really fired up for this.

    THE PARAGRAPH: “Maybe just because of boredom or other reason, we don’t really know exactly, we decided to spend this Sunday outside the apartment. It all started when Aislinn woke up and rolled crazily on the bed and nearly fall down. I didn’t know what she was dreaming about, and with her sleepy eyes, she said, “Peter, do you want to go for a walk and grab an ice cream?”. And I said, “What?”. And then she said, “Pretty please? I think today is going to be a goooood day for a walk,”. And yes, she said that ‘good’ word for more than 10 seconds.”

    MY RENDITION: Perhaps it was due to sheer boredom (or something else we didn’t particularly care to find out what) that we decided to spend this Sunday outside of this extremely cozy apartment of ours. It all started when Aislinn woke up–before she did, she rolled around the bed (at least her part of the shared bed) madly, nearly falling down in the process. I didn’t know what she dreamt about, but I suppose it’s something extreme.

    However, this rather fruitless train of thought was interrupted when Aislinn, with her droopy eyes, called out to me. “Peter,” she said, “Do you want to go for a walk and grab some ice cream?”

    I looked at her in mild surprise, “You’ve just woke up and you’re already craving for some ice cream?”

    She pouted a little, “It’s fine, isn’t it?” she fumed, but then her expression changed back her usual cheery one: “Pretty please with a cherry on top? My intuition said that it would be a gooood day for a walk!”

    I still couldn’t believe she held the ‘o’s in ‘good’ for more than ten seconds.
    =====
    I know it’s far more lengthy (how did I do that, oh my god?), but I personally think that the paragraph needs more description. It was quite an important one, after all: the start of all this.
    Things to note:

    1. Never put a dialogue in one paragraph: that’s cluttering, and may create serious confusion.
    2. Add something like body gestures or feelings during dialogue. It’s better than going She said, I said, She said, I said–etc. And less boring, too.
    3. Word choices, I guess?
    4. Descriptions should be more detailed, so the readers understand properly what is happening!
    5. I saw some grammatical errors but it could be easily solved by beta-reading it again.

    Good luck on your endeavors and happy writing! I hope this helps.

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