Things I Should Have Done

If I had known what would happen,
And if God gave me a chance to go back to that day,
I’d like to rush to your room,
Talk to you for hours,
Share some laugh and jokes with you,
Spending our last day together.
After that,
When I’m about to leave,
I’d like to kiss your forehead,
And whisper in your ear how much I love you and how I’m so proud of you,
And say a proper ‘see you later’.

But there are no regrets in my mind,
Cause I know you can feel my love from the prayers I sent for you.
And there will be no regrets in my mind,
Cause I’m going to move on and continue my life as I know that’s what you’ll tell me to do if you’re still here.


Dedicated to my beautiful gorgeous friend, Luthfi ‘Ufairoh.
May you rest in peace, Sunshine. See you later ({})


Simple Smoothie

Hullo! Salut! Ciao!

It has been a long time since I planned to start a new healthy diet but until now I haven’t really had one. Well, my first step to start living a healthy diet is to drink a home-made smoothie every morning. I was introduced to smoothie by my mom who had been following the food combining program though she always failed eventually, hehe.

Since fancy and tasty fruits are expensive here in Indonesia, I and my mom decided to make a delicious and healthy smoothie which can make us still full till afternoon from cheap fruits. Here, I’ll show you one of my favorite smoothie we made:



– 1/6 of melon
– 6 strawberries
– 1 apple
– 2 tbsp of sugar
– 2 tbsp of oatmeal
– 2 tbsp of plain yogurt
– water

1. Prepare all the ingredients.
2. Cut the melon’s skin off. Cut the flesh into pieces.
3. Peel the apple’s skin. Cut the flesh into 4.
4. Put the fruits on your blender.
5. Add the yogurt, sugar, and oatmeal.
6. Add some water as you wish.
7. Blender the fruits until they’re well-blended.
8. Pour to some glasses, serve!

It can fill 3 medium-sized glasses, guys!

P.s. Always wash the fruits thoroughly if you want to consume/process it with the skin on to avoid pesticides and other dangerous substances from the farm.

Anyway, I guess that’s all. Sorry for the bad quality of the photo, I’m still an amateur at photography!
Stay living in a healthy diet for a longer life, fellas! ;)
Au revoir! Arrivederci! :)

Welcomed | Happy Eid Mubarak!

Happy Eid Mubarak, my fellow Moslem from all over the world!
Taqaballahu minna waminkum, shiyamana wa shiyamakum.
May all of us live in peace and happiness for the rest of our lives, aamiin yaa rabbal alamin.

As we all know, on July 28, all Moslem celebrated Aidilfitri, the holy day. Why does that day is called as ‘the holy day’? This year’s July 28 happened to be as the exact day of Syawal 1. Syawal is the month after Ramadhan on the Islamic calendar. On 30 days of Ramadhan, we are fasting to ‘fight against lust in general’. And then when Ramadhan ends and Syawal comes, we celebrate our winning against lust by having an Aidilfitri prayer (sholat) on the 1st day of Syawal.

I’m not going to utter about Aidilfitri in this post. Today I’d like to share a story about my warm-hearted high school seniors.

As an Indonesian, we have the tradition to say “Happy Eid Mubarak, taqaballahu minna waminkum,” kind of stuffs to our family and fellow friends. People also sometimes write a beautiful full-of-rhyme poem just to say ‘Happy Eid Mubarak’. Instead of only saying those words mouth-to-mouth, we sometimes broadcast the message to every people in our phone contact book (though honestly I rarely do that because I always get awkward while writing those formal texts).

This year, this exact month, is my first year and my first month as a high school student. I’ve known some people and I’ve known some of my seniors. To be honest, the school I attend, SMA N 1 Teladan Yogyakarta (1 State Senior High School), has a really unique culture compared to other high school. It is kinda religious and the bond between seniors and juniors feels so tight. Though I’ve known some of the students and the activities there, I still haven’t attend a single class in high school. So that means that I haven’t feel like a real high school student.

Today, I recieved two Aidilfitri messages from my seniors. Those messages are from Mbak Amel and Mbak Lala (the word ‘mbak’ is the Indonesian translation for ‘big sis’). I have only met them twice and both of our meetings were less than an hour. We haven’t really know each other so well but they still greeted me a Happy Eid Mubarak. They wish we can still gather on next year’s Ramadhan and they wish me a happy holiday. Mbak Lala even asked me, “Are you ready for becoming a better person?”.

27-ScreenCapture WA Mbak Amel Teladan 57 28-ScreenCapture SMS Mbak Lala

And then I felt.. wut? We barely know each other yet they still care about us, their junior they barely know. Though today is not the first time I received warm messages from my high school senior, I’m still amazed by the way my high school seniors show their affections toward their juniors. They make us feel welcomed by treating us like a part of their family.

And I thought.. what if everyone have this kind of acceptance to new people around them? What if everyone give warm welcome to outsiders among them? I assure you that receiving those kind of warm welcomes made me feel like coming home. And I guess this kind of tradition -welcoming people warmly- is worth to be preserved.

The attention my high school seniors give to us implicitly taught me one thing: share positive vibes everywhere, every time, and to everyone. And as long as we’re alive, why not?

I guess that’s all I want to say. I’m not going to make a long-poetic closure for this post as it’s midnight here and I should go to bed.
So, I guess.. arrivederci! :)

Love, CA.

How Every Street Campaign Should Have Been

There was a spectacular street campaign on Malioboro Street, Yogyakarta, Indonesia on June 24, 2014. As the presidential election is going to be held on July 9, 2014, the supporters of both candidates (Jokowi-Jusuf Kalla and Prabowo-Hatta Rajasa) have started the street campaign.

In Indonesia, every street campaign is brutal. The supporters of a candidate are roaming around the city with their made-up noisy motorcycles. And sometimes, the street campaign triggers a street fight between two sides who have the slightest mutuality. I really don’t get it why the supporters do that, the fight and made-up noises. I suppose those things tend to make people hate them more, isn’t it?

Just yesterday, I went to Malioboro and found a LOT of people gathered on the Malioboro Street to do a silent campaign. Well, not really silent, but it’s way more quiet and polite. Those people are non-party people around Malioboro who supports Jokowi-Jusuf Kalla. They held a parade around Malioboro. I’m not sure where did the parade started and ended, but I’m pretty sure the parade went through Malioboro and Kraton Yogyakarta.

What makes me think that the parade was how every street campaign should have been like is how effective, polite, and bewitching it is. They didn’t do any anarchy gestures, instead they smiled. They didn’t make useless loud noises, instead they sing a song about Jokowi-Jusuf Kalla accompanied by our traditional instruments (gamelan). Though it is one of the political strategies to win the election, it’s entertaining and not nauseating. I’m not talking about politics nor a candidate here, and by writing this doesn’t mean that I support a particular candidate (I’m still too young to understand politic), but what I really want to say is that I hope every street campaign is like this, or maybe better than this. I hope that every street campaign is educating, entertaining, and true.

Here, I’ll show you some pictures I got yesterday:

DSCN0105 DSCN0096 DSCN0103 DSCN0137 DSCN0106 DSCN0114 DSCN0109 DSCN0113 DSCN0104

Pawitikra 014’s Graduation Day!

So on June 22, I and the rest of Pawitikra’s 9th graders graduated. Apparently, I’m a part of the class 9.4, Exinfour, Extraordinary Inter Four. Our graduation day was amazing and emotional (you know how graduation day is). Here I’ll post some pics of our graduation day:

My classmates and I in front of our classroom.

My classmates and I in front of our classroom.

My classmates and I in our school hall.

My classmates and I in our school hall.

Some of the ladies of Exinfour.

Some of the ladies of Exinfour.

Some of the gents of Exinfour.

Some of the gents of Exinfour.

The DeNFaFi.

The DeNFaFi.

I, Rizki Ayu, Adelia P, and a half of Mar'atul Jannah

I, Rizki Ayu, Adelia P, and a half of Mar’atul Jannah

I and the beautiful Cindy Wieke.

I and the beautiful Cindy Wieke.

I and the beautiful Pravistiarani Adia.

I and the beautiful Pravistiarani Adia.

Exinfour's smarty pants: Adelia P and Halida D.

Exinfour’s smarty pants: Adelia P and Halida D.

Halida D, I, and the cheerful Firsty L.

Halida D, I, and the cheerful Firsty L.

I and Halida D

I and Halida D

The most critical thinking girl on earth Deasita, I, and Adelia P.

The most critical thinking girl on earth Deasita, I, and Adelia P.


The awesome Hanqenina D and I.

The beautiful Mar'atul Jannah and I.

The beautiful Mar’atul Jannah and I.

The awesome Putri Faizah and Tsany Raihanah.

The awesome Putri Faizah and Tsany Raihanah.

Deasita and Adelia P. Best friend foreva!

Deasita and Adelia P. Best friend foreva!

Adelia P and Rizki Ayu.

Adelia P and Rizki Ayu.

Rizki Ayu and Mar'atul Jannah.

Rizki Ayu and Mar’atul Jannah.

Deasita and Rizki Ayu.

Deasita and Rizki Ayu.

Rizki Ayu and Tsany Raihanah.

Rizki Ayu and Tsany Raihanah.

The three besties: Putri F, Luthfi U, and Mar'atul Jannah.

The three besties: Putri F, Luthfi U, and Mar’atul Jannah.

DSCN0060 DSCN0063

Ardini Batrisya, I, and Afif H Jovian!

Ardini Batrisya, I, and Afif H Jovian!

My beautiful friends Pravistiarani Adia, Tsany R, Aulia Deshinta, and Dinda S.

My beautiful friends Pravistiarani Adia, Tsany R, Aulia Deshinta, and Dinda S.

Stick your tongue!

Stick your tongue!


Putri F and Ahmad Dhira.

Putri F and Ahmad Dhira.

Hanin Caya and Ahmad Dhira.

Hanin Caya and Ahmad Dhira.

Dea Er and Ahmad Dhira.

Dea Er and Ahmad Dhira.

Luthfi U and Ahmad Dhira.

Luthfi U and Ahmad Dhira.

I and Ahmad Dhira.

I and Ahmad Dhira.

Adelia P and Ahmad Dhira.

Adelia P and Ahmad Dhira.

Firsty L and Ahmad Dhira.

Firsty L and Ahmad Dhira.

Fanny R and Ahmad Dhira.

Fanny R and Ahmad Dhira.

I and Dinda S.

I and Dinda S.

Hanin Caya's family.

Hanin Caya’s family.

At last, all I can say is “Happy Graduation!”. I’m gonna miss Exinfour :(

Semoga wisuda kali ini bukan berarti jalan keluar, tapi pintu masuk buat mimpi-mimpi yang baru. Semoga kita bisa bertemu dalam keadaan yang lebih sukses lagi. :) -Deasita

Under the Ferris Wheel

Navy Pier

It was a bright clear Sunday when I and Aislinn decided to take a walk around the city. We rarely go out on Sundays. Instead of having a couple time outside the apartment, we are likely to sit on a couch and watch movies or read different books with our hands clutched. Just enjoying our holiday in silence since our workdays tend to be hectic.

Maybe just because of boredom or other reason, we don’t really know exactly, we decided to spend this Sunday outside the apartment. It all started when Aislinn woke up and rolled crazily on the bed and nearly fall down. I didn’t know what she was dreaming about, and with her sleepy eyes, she said, “Peter, do you want to go for a walk and grab an ice cream?”. And I said, “What?”. And then she said, “Pretty please? I think today is going to be a goooood day for a walk,”. And yes, she said that ‘good’ word for more than 10 seconds.

After we got dressed and ready, I in my shirt and Aislinn in her sundress, we start strolling down the city. We’re talking about unimportant things and though it’s a waste of energy, I still enjoyed it. Despite the fact that Aislinn is my wife (so basically I love doing anything with her), having a small talk outside the room was quite refreshing for an animation designer like me.

“Honey, what flavor do you want?” she asked me when she was about to order.

“Chocolate peanut butter,”

“Chocolate peanut butter and cranberry, please,” she said. She opened her purse, grabbed some pennies, and paid.

It might seemed weird when a girl pay for things in a date, when the boy should be the one who pay, but we both don’t care. Love is about sharing everything you want to share with the people you love. Even the silliest thing in marriage, like money. Don’t call me a chicken, I’m still a gentleman. I pay the expensive things. Haha.

“Here you go!” she said, handing me a cone of ice cream.

“Thank you!”

We started walking toward the ferris wheel near the beach. We didn’t ride the ferris wheel, we just sat under it. We have a favorite bench under the ferris wheel which is facing the sea. That’s where we sat when we was on our first date.

“So, how’s your Sunday, Mrs. Goode?” I asked.

She turned her face to me and smiled, “Until now, pretty good, Mr. Goode,”

It’s funny how when you fall in love, you’ll memorize everything about her/him. When a man stays single, he rarely memorize the details of a girl since it’s not a man thing. But when you fall in love, everything seem to be carved on your brain. You’ll memorize how her lips crooked when she smiles or how good is the smell of her perfume. Everything.

“It’s so refreshing, isn’t it? Having a walk on a sunny Sunday,” she said, and then continued her words after she licked her ice cream, “I am a little bit bored editing scripts,”

Aislinn is an editor. She often edits movie scripts. But actually, her real passion is editing novels. She once said to me ‘Making adjustments on a novel that will make a good reading feels makes me feel amazing. Moreover if the novel I edited become a best-seller! I somehow feel useful’.

“But that’s still your passion, isn’t it, Honey?”

“It is.. but I guess I need something new. Something that will cause a greater impact to the world,”

“Well you can try to write seriously. Your short stories and poems are great, remember?”

She stared at me. I can see a little desperation and a glimpse of relief in her eyes. “Thanks, Honey,”


I hadn’t finished my words when we heard a woman scream furiously. We automatically searched the source of the sound. It was just on the other side of the ferris wheel where the source of the sound was. The source of the sound was a pregnant woman screaming while holding her tummy. Besides her, her -probably- 6 years-old boy were staring at her mom, knowing nothing to do.

In a blink of an eye, I already saw Aislinn running towards that pregnant woman. I followed her though I didn’t know what to do. Call 911? Of course, but what should I do in the mean time?

I dialed 911 and Aislinn knelt besides her. In a very weak voice, the woman said, “Bring me to the hospital. Call my husband and take care of my son,”

“Okay! My husband had called an ambulance to bring you to the hospital and please stay calm! Say, what’s your name?”

“I’m.. I’m Mrs. Abernathy. A.. Aisha,” she said. She sounded like she’s about to faint.

“Okay, Aisha. I’ll call your husband,”

I didn’t know how she did it but Aislinn acted calmly. Her hands trembled a little when she’s dialing Mr. Abernathy using Aisha’s phone, but she’s so calm. She also helped Aisha to breath properly. Different from Aislinn, I’m panicking inside. What if the ambulance took a long time to get here? What if Aisha delivered the baby here?

I felt relieved when I heard the siren of the ambulance. The nurses were coming out and helping Aisha to get in. Meanwhile, Aislinn dialed Mr. Abernathy for the second time to tell him where we and his wife was heading.

When we arrived at the hospital, I registered Aisha and Aisha was taken to another room where I couldn’t go to. I sat down on a bench beside Aislinn who was trying to distract the boy from what happened to his mom.

“What’s your name, Hero?” Aislinn asked. When he didn’t answer, she said, “My name is Aislinn. I’m a stranger but you can trust me. Your mom is okay, okay? She’s about to give you a brother or a sister!”

The little boy nodded a little and he gave a wary look at me. Aislinn said, “He’s my husband, Hero. His name is Peter. You can trust him too!”

“Hi Hero, I’m Peter!” I said.

And then the boy opened his mouth shyly, “I’m Zafran,”

“Wow, that’s such a good name, Zafran!” Aislinn praised him. “Tell me, do you like playing soccer?”


“Okay. Who’s your favorite player?”

I walked to the entrance door to wait Mr. Abernathy and I could no longer hear their conversation. A few minutes later, I saw a man in a black coat running towards the hospital. I automatically said, “Mr. Abernathy?”

“Yeah! Yeah! Thank you, Peter! You’re Aislinn’s husband, right?” He was gasping so fast for air.

“Yeah. Your wife is inside and your son is with Aislinn down the hall,” I said, pointing a white and blue hall where Aislinn and Zafran was.

I followed Mr. Abernathy to the hall. Aislinn and Zafran were talking to each other when Zafran saw his dad and ran to hug him. I could see a great smile on both Aislinn and Zafran.

“Thank you so much, I owe you both a lot,” Mr. Abernathy said, tightening his hug on Zafran.

“It’s alright,” Aislinn said.

“Congratulations, Mr. Abernathy. May your baby born in a great health,” I said to him.

“Thank you so much, Aislinn and Peter. May your marriage blessed in joy,”

We nodded to him and went outside. I was about to walk Aislinn home when she grabbed my hand and asking me to sit next to her on a bench outside the hospital. She rested her head on my shoulder and I could feel her breathing fast. Her body was shaking and I figured out that she’s crying in silence. She was shocked.

“Hey, Aislinn Honey.. Don’t cry! You did good back there,” I reached her body and wrapped my arms around it.

Aislinn was crying on my chest. I could see people were watching us but I didn’t care. I kissed her forehead and brushed her red hair, doing anything to comfort her. Well, anything wise enough to be done in public.

A moment later, Aislinn said, “I know I did good.. I’m just afraid,”

“Well there’s nothing to be afraid of,”

“No, there is! What if we failed to bring her to the hospital on time? What if-“

“Honey, we succeed. You succeed. I don’t know what are you thinking about yourself, but you’re a hero! You saved someone’s life, no, two people’s life!”

She nodded. “I just want to save her, you know? Being useful to someone..”

“And you did save her. You’re already useful,”

She didn’t move in my arms. Instead, she said, “You know, Peter? I’m no Einstein. But I want to help others by what I know even though I know less. I want to do something good,”

“I know, Aislinn, I know. You don’t need to be Einstein to do something good. You can be just Aislinn and do something good. And I love Aislinn, I don’t love Einstein. So don’t compare yourself to Einstein. Be yourself, Honey. I know that Aislinn can do a lot of good things,”

Aislinn nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m shocked,”

“It’s okay,” I kissed her forehead again. And when she really stopped trembling, I let go off my hug and say, “Hey, wanna go home or grab some burgers? I’ll pay for hero of the day,”

She smiled weakly, “Burgers,”

“Alright then! To burgers we go!”

I held her hands and we went to the nearest burger shop. On our way there, Aislinn moved her hand from mine and hugged my arms. “Thank you. For everything,”

And she smiled. Her smile was so bright. That smile is the kind of smile that shows satisfaction, glad, and happiness. That smile is the kind of smile I would never stop looking at.

Coffee Shop Talk

14. Cafe Sacher (32)

I was about to flee when the girl I had been waiting for hours appeared in front of the coffee shop. She saw me through the window and waved her right hand towards me.

Tanya is a sickly pale girl with curly blonde hair down to her waist. She’s short and was never been and will never be  in the list of ‘beautiful girls according to male’s stereotypical types’ . Men who don’t look at her heart avoids her. But the thing I like the most about her is that she’s always cheerful. No matter what happened to her, she smiles. I’m a man and basically I’m the master of ignoring and I should have feel ease to people who ignore things, but I’m still curious what makes a girl with more emotional endurance like Tanya can still smile anywhere anytime.

“Hey, Peter!” she innocently shouted to me from across the room.

“Damn it, Tanya! I’ve been waiting for you for hours and you innocently greeted me?!” I shouted back when she finally sat in front of me. “Your espresso is cold right now!”

“I’m so sorry, Peter, I’m so sorry! Tyler couldn’t decide which suit he’ll wear to his interview. So he asked me to help him,” she said with a grin on her face. “What’s the matter, anyway? You didn’t sound good when you call,”

“I didn’t,” I said.

She leaned forward and took a sip of her coffee. “Tell me then,”

“Look, as Aislinn’s best friend, what do you think about what she thinks about failure?” I asked, hoping she didn’t figure out the reason why I ask her that.

She frowned for a while. I might seem like a thief watching his target when I’m looking at Tanya, waiting her answer. When she finally opened her mouth, she said, and again, with a grin, “I don’t know,”

“Damn it, Tanya!”

“Well, why don’t you ask that to herself? I’m no mind-readers, for God’s sake!”

“I don’t want her to know that-“

“You failed on something? Yeah, I get that. She’s so sensitive when something’s happening,”

I nodded. At first, I only want to talk about that to Tanya, but then every words were bursting out of my mouth. “I failed on my job interview, okay? I don’t want Aislinn to know that because I don’t want to let her down,” I said. When Tanya didn’t say a word, I knew she wanted to know more. “You see, being a professional animation maker is my lifelong dream. I know that, right now, I’m working as an animation maker and I’m making a good money, but I want more. I want to make an animation so good that everyone in the world will notice my work. And to achieve that, I gotta keep moving. I can’t stay in a company who kills every employee’s dream by being not a serious company,”

I gave a pause and drank my coffee. Tanya still stay silent. I knew she was observing me and my problem. She’s the best at that, well, the second best. Aislinn is the best.

So I continued, “Aislinn has been supportive to me everyday. She even supports me when I’m about to quit my job even though she knows that she must rearrange our monthly needs to save our money. I love her, you know? I can’t stand the idea of letting her down because of my failure. And I failed at the interview.. I guess I overrated my self,”

Tanya finally spoke, “Ah, love. So, basically, you don’t want to let her down?”

I nodded.

“Just tell her. She’s a gorgeous woman with a big fat heart. She won’t be disappointed by her husband’s failure on reaching his dream,” she said. “Look, you know what, Pete? I know that this is not about you telling her that you failed. It’s about failure itself, isn’t it? You feel bad for failing on something and you brought Aislinn as an excuse for spilling your heart out to me. Am I right?”

“You caught me,” I said. “But I still feel bad about telling Aislinn that I failed,”

She smiled. “I know. You see, failure is not the end of everything. Back in college, I got a B once, while, you know, I had always been getting an A+. At that point, I felt like my whole universe is sinking. Sinking, you know! I wanted to be a perfect student and having a B in my paper broke my heart. I didn’t eat pizza -my favorite food- for weeks! I had no appetite and I felt like I had no reasons to live. Call me selfish and stupid, that’s what I was,”

Tanya grabbed a french fries and continued talking, “Then one day, after sick of seeing me being weird, my ultimate best friend and roommate Aislinn talked like this to me, ‘I got a C again. I hope that one day I’ll graduate with flying colors and impress Peter,’. And I was shocked for a while. Until now, I still don’t know whether she said that deliberately to knock me or not, but what she said did really knocked me. I thought, ‘Wow, I’m such a an asshole. I still got better grades than Aislinn but I felt like giving up. But there Aislinn is, having worse grades than me but still being an optimistic. I should be more grateful for what I have,’. And you should, too, Peter,”

I nodded for a while. There’s nothing I can say. I’m too stunned by what Tanya said. I’ve never heard that story before. Aislinn is the master of all optimist. If I was Aislinn and wanted to have good grades to impress someone I love and finally achieved a bad grade, I might be stressed. But there Aislinn is. She failed but she still being an optimist.

Tanya was an asshole. And maybe I was an asshole too. No. Not maybe. I was an asshole. I gotta ask God to forgive me for being such an asshole. I gotta be grateful for what I have and I had. I gotta have the guts to speak the reality.

“Wow! Thank you, Tanya,”

“Anytime, Peter,”

I grabbed my coat and a coffee I bought earlier for Aislinn. “I gotta go. So, see you someday?”

“Okay. Just remember that Aislinn is in love with you and she’s the kind of person who will accept you whatever happens to you. And tell Aislinn I miss her,” She waved her hand towards me.

“I will,”

I walked through the door. The sky was dark and yellowish light bulbs lighted my path. And I suddenly knew that there’s forgiveness for every sins if you ask it with heart. I lifted my chin and walked home.